Gentle Mother
by OverTheLuna
Summary: When Joanna Lannister breathed her last, that was the moment in which everything changed. But if that moment had never come, how would things have been different? AU, of course.
1. The Moment of Reckoning

Gentle Mother

Summary: When Joanna Lannister breathed her last, that was the moment in which everything changed. But if that moment had never come, how would things have been different? AU, of course.

Disclaimer: I only own what you don't recognise. Everything else is George R.R. Martin's.

Chapter One

_Gentle Mother, font of mercy,_  
_Save our sons from war we pray._  
_Stay the swords and stay the arrows,_  
_Let them know a better day._

_Gentle Mother, strength of women,_  
_Help our daughters through this fray,_  
_Soothe the wrath and tame the fury,_  
_Teach us all a kinder way._

_Gentle Mother, font of mercy,_  
_Save our sons from war we pray._  
_Stay the swords and stay the arrows,_  
_Let them know a better day._

By the time their mother finished her song, Jaime and Cersei were fast asleep, wrapped tightly in each other's arms. The twins slept in the same bed, as they always had done. Joanna had tried to keep them apart, after her maid had told her of... but they were children, they were only playing. '_There's no harm in them being close.'_ she told herself, for what seemed to be the thousandth time. '_They came into this world together, they should be by each other's side. There's no harm in it, as long as they're still children.'_

Sighing contentedly, the woman placed a kiss on each of their foreheads, lingering just a little while longer simply to watch them sleep. This would be the last time she would see the twins for a few days, and so she wanted to relish these moments while she could. After all, there was always the chance...

Joanna shook her head vigorously, as if that would force the terrible thought from her mind. It would not do to think so negatively. The woman placed a protective hand over the bulging curve of her belly. It would not be long now; she needed to prepare.

Blowing a final kiss towards her children, Joanna swept out of the room, heading away from her children's chambers and towards her own. The heels of her shoes collided loudly with the stone floor of the corridors; at so late an hour, it was the only sound to be heard in the keep.

She had allowed the twins to stay up a little later than usual, reading to them and coddling them in the very way Tywin constantly warned her not to. _You'll spoil them_, he always told her, _not allowing them to grow apart from you, _but Joanna could not help herself. She would not see her children for another week, at least, and there was a feeling, a sickening, twisting fear in the pit of her stomach, that she may not ever see them again.

The thought had been swimming round in her mind often in the past weeks, but that day it had been especially prominent. The babe had been kicking furiously ever since she awoke; having been surrounded constantly by her good-sisters and cousins of late, who had borne a score of babes between them, she knew well enough what that meant.

'_What if something is wrong?'_ she had asked herself, time and time again. '_What if there's a problem with the child? What if something happens to it, or to me?'_

When she voiced these concerns to her husband, he smiled, shaking his head good-naturedly the way most men would have laughed. Tywin never laughed, not since the fall of the Laughing Lion; he smiled sure enough, but never laughed. Joanna wondered if he ever would again.

"Oh, Anna." he sighed. Any man would be too fearful of Lannister might to use a derivative of her forename, even her own brothers and sisters; then again, Tywin Lannister was not just 'any man'. "You're being foolish, my love. Nothing will happen to you or to the child you carry. It is simply nerves."

Joanna nodded, taking her husband at his word, for she had never, in all these years, known him to be wrong. But try as she might, she could not shake the feeling that this birth would be different. And when the pains began just as the sun began to rise, the doubts and terrors filled her mind once more.

She had tried to cling onto her husband as Genna had hurried her away, a silent, desperate plea for him to break with convention and attend the birthing with her, but it was to no avail, for no sooner had he opened his mouth to answer her request than she was gone.

The fear was almost overwhelming, but it was nothing compared to the pain. With the twins, the labour had been lengthy, but there had been little pain to speak of, only a dull ache as she pushed them forth into the world. She remembered jesting with her sisters that women must simply invent stories of their agonies in childbirth in order to gain sympathy from their husbands. It seemed the Gods were punishing her for that, for the pain this time was tenfold the pain she had felt with Jaime and Cersei.

Within an hour or so, Joanna was delirious from milk of the poppy. She had heard the smallfolk say that the potion could do harm to a child, but she had been in such terrible pain that she had accepted it nonetheless. Besides, surely it could do no harm at so late a stage.

Her companions were all around her, shouting instructions to one another and running around fetching supplies. Normally, Joanna would have laughed at such composed, dignified women reduced to this gaggle of squawking hens, but now, she found she did not have the strength.

The pains were coming closer now, and harsher too, but Lady Lannister had lost the energy to scream a long while ago. Instead, she allowed Genna to give her another draught of milk of the poppy, saying that they could manage without her now. Joanna had not known what she meant, but she had obeyed nonetheless.

As she felt the world slipping away to darkness, a question crossed her mind. '_If I die, who will sing my son and my daughter to sleep?'_

Then everything went black.

A/N: Please review!


	2. A Cursed Blessing

Chapter Two

A/N: Thank you to magnus374, DA Warblers, Bill382, Guest and katherinemikaelson for being my first reviewers. I really appreciate it!

When Joanna awoke, the sunlight streaming through a gap in her shutters was almost enough to blind her. The woman raised a hand to shield her eyes, blinking until she became accustomed to the glow. For so long all she had known was darkness; it was rather strange to see light again.

Slowly, she dragged herself to sit up against her pillows, ignoring the throbbing pain beneath her stomach, far more intense than it had been with the twins. So much was different from the first labour she had suffered through; there had to be something the same.

Suddenly, Joanna's thoughts turned to the fruits of her labour. She strained her ears, listening for any sign of life nearby, but she could hear no crying, only the quiet fluttering of the breeze outside. Her heart sank in her chest, her mouth falling open in a silent cry. This could not be... she would not believe it... there was no babe to hear.

The pain increased tenfold as Lady Lannister rose from her bed, but she did not even notice, for it was nothing compared to the agony tearing at her heart. All the effort she had gone to, the hours of pain and suffering, and the years before that worrying that she would never conceive another child, all of it had come to naught.

Convention dictated that she ought to remain in the birthing chamber for six days and only emerge on the seventh, as an appeal to the gods to bless herself and her child, but Joanna was so blinded by panic that she did not spare the gods a thought. She bolted for the door, preparing to run the corridors, in search for anyone who might tell her what had happened to her child.

She had barely laid a hand on the door handle before she stopped, a flash of scarlet in the corner of her eye. She turned and saw it. The cradle.

In all her panic, she had failed to notice the elaborate wood carvings of the cradle. It was the same bed where newborn Lannister sons and daughters had lain for hundreds of years. Tywin had lain in it once, as had their twins, side by side. As one of the lesser members of the family, Joanna had never been awarded such privilege, nor had her brothers and sisters, though her father had done. It was a symbol of importance to the family, conveying which children were worthy of the utmost respect; it had never been more important to Joanna than now.

Gingerly, the woman approached the cradle, hoping that her exhaustion was not causing her mind to play tricks. Each step seemed to echo in the silent room, though her bare feet made no sound. A lifetime passed in that short journey, and Joanna thought that she might die for the pain of knowing her child was lost to her.

But the sight inside the cradle made her live again, for in it lay a child, a newborn babe, wrapped haphazardly in a cloth of red satin. '_My child.'_ she thought, tears brimming over to spill down her cheeks. '_My own little babe.'_

She bent down to retrieve the child from the cradle, overcome with joy, when she paused once again. Both hands flew to her mouth as she took in the sight before her. This was not the perfect child she had dreamt of... this was a dwarf.

The babe's limbs were half the size they ought to be, while its head was almost double. Veins bulged forward from its forehead and when it finally woke, only one green eye looked back at her, the other being a deeper black than ever she had seen.

"What is this monster?" Joanna breathed, backing away from the cradle. She reached out blindly behind her, looking for something to hold onto, lest she collapse under the weight of her horror. "What sins must I have committed for the Gods to curse me so, to take my babe and leave me with this creature?"

Quickly, Lady Lannister's horror was replaced by anger, rage simmering in her veins. All those years she had suffered, spending each waking moment wondering if she would ever again bear a child, and yet this was all the reward she had for her agony. Blinded by fury, she cursed the Seven, she cursed herself...

And then the babe began to cry.

Joanna's heart skipped a beat, her fury diminished in an instant, leaving only a nagging pain tightening in her chest. Though it hurt, the woman could not help but smile at its familiarity. It was the same hurt she felt when Jaime skinned his knee in the training yard or when Cersei slipped in her dancing lessons; this was a mother's love for her child, the all-consuming instinct to keep them safe no matter what and to hurt when they hurt. '_What was I thinking?'_ she chastised herself. '_This babe is my child, just as much as the twins.'_

Bolting across the room, Joanna plucked the babe from the cradle, wrapping the blanket more securely around the child when it slipped, and rocked her arms gently backwards and forwards until the wails were reduced to whimpers.

"Hush, child." she whispered, holding the babe close to her breast. "Never fear, little one, my poor unfortunate son. Mother is here to protect you. Mother will keep you safe."

And the gods only knew from whom the child would need protecting. There would be enemies, hundreds upon hundreds, who would use the child as a weapon against Tywin, proof that the gods had abandoned him. Men would believe anything that would give them a greater chance at glory.

As for the Rock itself, perhaps the poor boy need even fear his own family. Jaime was a sweet boy and would never do the child harm; Cersei was a different matter entirely. True, she loved her mother dearly, but it had always been her father's approval she had sought, and whatever displeasures he showed, she would copy, if only in the hope to make him proud. '_If Tywin rejects his son, the Seven Hells may well open around us.'_

Joanna Lannister was not the sort of woman to believe in songs and stories; growing in Aerys' court had taken that luxury from her long ago. She knew that life was far harsher than young girls gave credit to, and she knew likewise that her enemies would do anything to try and bring the Lannisters to heel, so they might claim their power for themselves.

'_I am only a woman,'_ she thought scathingly. '_I cannot put an end to their plans. But I can make a vow, as the Mother is my witness. No matter how many casualties come of this game of thrones, they shall never be named Jaime, Cersei or Tyrion.'_

A/N: Sorry it took so long. It should be quicker now that exams are done. Please review!


	3. A Storm Approaching

Chapter Three

A/N: Thank you to DA Warblers, Revan3363, YuunoMugen, Cancer-Chris, DKhanna, magnus374, Guest, Malyx Blackfyre and beachchick3 for reviewing the last chapter; it really means a lot to me. Hope this chapter is worth the wait!

On the sixth night after she gave birth to Tyrion, as she had named the newborn babe in her vow, Joanna decided to venture forth from her birthing chamber, if only to avoid the monotony of the room for a little while. Of course, she should not have emerged until dawn broke the next morning, but somehow Lady Joanna felt enough prayers had been said for herself and her boy. '_Besides,'_ she thought, to comfort herself. '_None offer prayers to the Stranger.'_

The lady had no particular direction in mind, but she was hardly surprised when her leaving one child led her to seek out the others. The path to the twins' chambers was one as familiar to her as any other, for she had many years of practice navigating the halls of the Rock- it seemed, however, that a stranger could have found her children with ease, simply by following the racket coming from their bedchamber.

The door was only half-closed, when she finally reached it, as if someone had abandoned the task in favour of another. But a quick glance inside revealed much, and for once in her life, Joanna felt the lack of attention was justified.

Septa Sarella had her feet planted firmly on the ground with one hand gripped hard against the bedpost; in the other, she held fast to Jaime's shirt, attempting to gain a forceful enough grip to manoeuvre him out of the door. Meanwhile, Cersei alternated between clinging to her brother, pulling him away, and plucking and pinching at the woman's fingers, in an effort to loosen her grip.

After just a few moments' observation, Joanna decided the time was right to reveal her position, and so she pushed the door open the rest of the way and cleared her throat in announcement.

"What in the name of the Gods is causing all this racket?" she asked, in a voice a little harsher than she would usually use in the presence of her children. Though their faces had illuminated when first they had seen her, now their expressions were hidden beneath tumbling curls as they looked toward the floor, ashamed. The septa, meanwhile, looked up to her mistress' face, the sweat glistening on her brow more to do with the woman's expression than her children's misbehaviour.

"I was trying to get the young lord to bed, m'lady," Septa Sarella explained, her voice weak and timid. "Only he refused to leave Lady Cersei and she refused to let him go."

For a moment, Joanna's brow furrowed in confusion before she forced her expression to be neutral once more; however, the forced action did not make her any less troubled. In all the fuss and worry of the new babe's arrival, she had forgotten her order for Jaime's bedchamber to be moved and had more importantly forgotten the reason for that order being made. Now her blissful ignorance was ended once more and the awful events of that night flashed through her mind again.

'_I will have to order him to leave.'_ she thought. '_There is no other way to do it. They cannot be alone together; this cannot continue. I cannot allow it.'_

But before she had had a chance to form the words, Joanna took in her daughter's quivering lip and the flinch of her son's hand, as if he had wished to take her hand in comfort but thought better of it. In an instant, the great Lady Lannister vanished, and the mother stood in her place.

"Thank you, Septa, you are dismissed." Joanna told the woman, though the kindness of her voice was not necessarily directed at the woman, who she had often found to be too weak-willed to raise Tywin Lannister's children. "I shall put my children to bed myself."

The septa, too fearful to disobey her mistress, scurried from the room, leaving Joanna alone with her children. The moment it was only the three of them, Cersei's eyes filled with tears and she dived for her mother, throwing her arms around her waist and clinging to her as though she was still a babe. The still tender muscles of Joanna's stomach screamed in protest, but she did not have the heart to move her daughter away, and when Jaime joined the embrace, more tentatively than his sister, she did not force him away either.

The candles had burnt low by the time the twins were calmed enough to sleep, Cersei lying with her head in her mother's lap as the woman combed her hand through her golden curls in a soothing motion. It had been a shock for Joanna, to see her girl so vulnerable. Usually, Cersei was Tywin's daughter through and through, stoic and taciturn, showing her emotions to no one, except perhaps her brother. '_The poor thing must have been out of her mind with worry.'_ Joanna thought, and felt the tug on her heart as she considered she was the one to put her children through such pain.

'_That'll be the last pain I will put them through.'_ she thought, recalling not only her vow from the previous night, but also the awful truth she had learned from the maester, even before the traumatic birth she had endured. Little Tyrion was to be her last babe and though she truly loved her sons and daughter, it always hurt a mother's heart to know her chance of other children was taken from her. Tywin had stressed his pleasure at having a strong heir and a beautiful daughter- he had said he had only wanted a healthy child and wife for the third- but somehow Joanna knew that he would not take too kindly to the child she had borne this past week. '_I will have to face him soon, to explain about the babe before he sees him. At least then there may be a chance of him trying to understand.'_

Somewhere in the distance, a thunderclap sounded, and Joanna clung tighter to her daughter. There was danger in the air that night and it was coming closer by the moment.

A/N: Thanks for reading after so long. Please review!


	4. A Horizon of Terrors

Chapter Four

A/N: Thank you to SantaTywin, magnus374, beachchick3, EndlessReign, Guest, elaine451 and Gracques for reviewing the last chapter.

The gold light of dawn had crept over the horizon, as Joanna watched from the carriage window. Tywin and the children had been asleep for hours, but she could barely bring herself to close her eyes, her heart pounding as she studied the distance. It would not be long before the outline of turrets and battlements would appear. It was a sight she had never anticipated seeing again; nor did she wish to.

She had been only a slip of a girl when she had first arrived in King's Landing, just a few name days older than her own daughter now. Her trunk had been crammed full of dresses and jewels, more than she had ever seen in her life, as her nuncle, Lord Tytos, had refused to send her to the capital with the few simple gowns she had possessed. '_The Lannister name weighs on your shoulders, girl, no matter how low down the line.'_ he had told her, before the sigh of disbelief had completely passed her lips. She still remembered one of the gowns, ruby red and sewn with onyx, the Targaryen colours; the thought of Tywin's expression when he first saw her wearing it had once brought her such joy, but his face was now superseded by another in her memory, one that made her shiver with dread at the ordeal she would soon have to face.

'_You ought not to be so foolish.'_ Joanna told herself, the voice in her mind sounding startlingly like that of her lady mother, long since passed. '_True, you were vulnerable in the palace as a girl, but you are a woman grown, a mother of three babes and wife of the most powerful man in the Kingdoms. You are untouchable.'_

The thought did not offer as much comfort as it ought to have done, but it was pacifying enough to allow Joanna to drift into slumber. Her eyes blinked open again to find the carriage still, the trickle of golden light now a flood. She glanced out of the window once more and saw it. The Red Keep.

"At last." Tywin sighed, sending a shiver of shock through Joanna. She had not realised her husband was awake. His quiet voice reminded her that the children were still sleeping, Cersei and Jaime's hands clasped together, while her son's other hand resting comfortingly on the basket young Tyrion slept in.

"It was quite a journey." she conceded, trying to keep her voice light, not allowing the weight of her fears to dampen her husband's spirits. She doubted such a thing was possible, he already seemed so dour, but she would not wish to sour his mood further, nor to draw attention to her own misgivings.

"The king wishes an audience immediately upon our arrival." Tywin informed her, to which his wife furrowed her brow, her practicality overcoming all else.

"Surely he cannot mean to see the children, not after so long a journey." Joanna did not bother to disguise her frustration, knowing that her husband would share it, as his curt nod told her well enough. The woman sighed, pushing a gold curl, escaped from her loose travelling hair, away from her eyes. The children ought to be abed at such an hour, especially the babe, and the peaceful tableau they created at that moment was not at all reflective of the process involved in getting them to sleep. Surely a tantrum would occur from one of them, although Joanna could not help but feel a little satisfied at the idea, King Aerys looking on in horror at a crying child in the middle of his sumptuous court; not satisfied enough to truly wish for it, but the thought gave her pleasure nonetheless.

"What the king desires, the king must have." Tywin stated, his lip curling with distaste. Joanna raised an eyebrow at his level of address for the monarch, the same he always used when out of his presence. Her husband always accorded Aerys the respect of his title as 'king', but scarcely used the term 'His Grace' unless forced to. It was almost a slight, small enough to escape unwanted notice, but large enough to make Joanna's love for her husband grow threefold each time he did so. Also large enough that the implication beyond his words passed her by.

The children began to stir when one of the palace's hundreds of servants pulled open the carriage door and Joanna was quick to place a calming hand on Jaime's knee, knowing his siblings would take their cues from his behaviour. Once she was assured of their tranquility, the woman turned her attention to the servant, plastering a charming smile upon her face. If there was one skill that King's Landing issued teachings for in abundance, it was acting.

"Welcome to King's Landing, Lord Tywin." came a voice from across the courtyard and Joanna looked past her husband as he exited the carriage, to be greeted with the sight of Queen Rhaella herself, one hand laid protectively on the shoulder of her young son, Prince Rhaegar. "It is so very gladdening to see you returned to the capital."

"Thank you, Your Grace." Lord Tywin responded, inclining his head out of respect. Both he and his wife had been raised in the Red Keep and both had always found the young princess to be of a far more pleasant temperament than her brother; she was worthy of respect for that, if not for her husband's sake.

Then Rhaella turned to Joanna, her former lady-in-waiting, and the pleasant smile that had adorned her face when she had greeted the King's Hand faded away. Joanna averted her eyes, her gaze dipping downwards in spite of herself; she had been taught always to have great pride in herself and the name that she bore, but at that moment she could not bear to. Returning to the castle brought to the front of her mind memories she had long since buried away.

Luckily enough, the Queen soon returned inside, unwilling to expose her son to the chill air for longer than necessary. Joanna heaved a sigh of relief, the constriction of her corseted waist seeming all the more prominent and concentrated instead on shepherding her own children inside the palace. She had faced the first challenge, defeated the first wave of the cavalry. But the true fight was still to come.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed guys! Please review!


	5. The Dragon's Flame

Chapter Five

A/N: Thank you to magnus374, beachchick3 and Sonic Key for reviewing the last chapter.

The crimson stone of the walls seemed to echo with the bustle of a thousand voices, as Joanna retraced the steps she had long since forgotten. Tywin strode ahead, his chin raised high as always, while his wife trailed slightly behind, an increasingly fussy babe cradled in one arm and the other steering her young daughter through the maze of corridors, the girl pulling along her twin brother in turn. Coated in the dust of the road, they hardly appeared the noble family their station befitted. Something told Joanna that was not an accident on Aerys' part.

Eventually they reached the colossal doors, barred shut for the court's session. '_He means to make an example of us.'_ the woman realised, knowing that every eye in the room would turn to the family once those doors were opened. '_I'll teach him to make my children look like fools.'_

The sounds of the court were audible through the thick wooden doors, but once the barrier was pulled away, the bustle died down to silence, each lord and lady turning to face the Hand and his family, just as Joanna had predicted. Unwilling to be beaten, the woman threw back her shoulders and ushered the twins forward, towards the throne where he was waiting for them.

"Lord Tywin." King Aerys acknowledged his Hand, his voice laced with amusement. He was enjoying every moment of the man's embarrassment, that much was clear. "How wonderful to see you here."

"Of course, Your Grace." Lord Tywin responded, spitting the title as if it were poison. If the king noticed the slight, he did not show it, instead seeming rather pleased with his scheming.

"And I see you have brought your family with you." the man pointed out, as if he had not sent the specific instructions himself. Joanna curtsied low, deciding to take the higher ground for her own, as she knew that her favoured course of action would likely land her in the Black Cells.

"It is an honour to be summoned to court, Your Grace." Joanna smiled, her voice dripping with charm. It was a trick Loreza Martell had taught her long ago, a simple way to manipulate those around her; _You can dip a snake's fangs in honey, but it will bite you all the same. _"As I know my sons and daughter will enjoy their time in the capital."

Cersei stepped forward to join her mother, sinking into a deep curtsy, just as she had been practicing for years. Her father had groomed her to be a royal bride once she came of age, although Joanna still had her doubts about the match, unwilling to allow her daughter to live out her days within Aerys' reach. '_I will cross that bridge once I come to it.'_

"What a beautiful girl." Queen Rhaella complemented, and Joanna shuddered. She had scarcely noticed the queen's presence upon entering the hall- she commanded so little of a presence that it was no feat to overlook her- but now that she had, the memories came flooding back. The tears, the angry words, the day she was dismissed and the reasons behind it. _I do not approve of my husband turning my ladies into whores._

"Thank you, Your Grace." Cersei spoke, never one to shy away even from the highest of royalty. Her father had instilled in her, as he had in Jaime, a belief that the Lannister name meant they would never have to defer to others, and all the confidence that came with that belief. '_At least she can fight for herself.'_ Joanna reasoned, watching her eldest son slowly come forward to join his sister, bowing shakily. Jaime would never be a diplomat, of that there was no question.

"Tell me, my lady," the king enquired, his mouth twisting into a leering grin. Joanna fought not to shudder as he studied her, with the same possessive confidence he had always had. "Will you be staying with your husband this time, or is this merely a visit before you scurry back home to your Rock?"

Joanna ignored the slight as best she could, though she could feel Tywin bristling beside her. Her voice was ice when she spoke. "I will stay for as long as my husband sees fit, Your Grace."

"Ever the obedient wife." Aerys' tone was dripping with poison, its implication barely hidden to the watching court. Joanna could feel the blush staining her cheeks. '_How dare he treat me this way in front of my husband, my children. Let alone a pack of strangers who would like more than anything to see me cast down. No doubt that is what he wants, to humiliate me. A fitting punishment for my biting the hand that fed me.'_

"Your Grace, if I may." Lord Tywin intervened. The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife. "It was a long ride from King's Landing and my children are tired. Would it be prudent for my wife to take them to bed? She may return later if she is needed."

"Yes, of course." Aerys allowed, suddenly the picture of innocence. Such was the way with him, his flashes of madness faded quickly enough. "You must attend to your children. Such blessings must be treasured."

With the king's attention distracted in a brief glance of displeasure towards his queen, Joanna managed to summon the grace to curtsy properly and flee the court, pulling Cersei behind her when the girl had scarcely risen from her own reverence. True, she probably seemed weak, running away from her troubles was more behaviour of a frightened girl than a woman grown, but she could not stand to be in Aerys' presence for one more minute.

Nonetheless, the woman attempted to compose herself, smiling and singing her children to sleep, just as she had always done. No matter how the king might make her feel, she would never allow her children to see her crumble. She would always be a protection for them and she would never allow them to doubt that. It was only once the three were fast asleep that she allowed a tear to streak down her porcelain skin, catching the sunlight through the gap in the shutters and seemingly bursting with flame.

'_How apt.'_ she told herself, the voice in her head bitter and judgemental. '_Yet another reminder of what I should have known all those years ago. Dancing with a dragon will only get you burned.'_

A/N: I've always been interested in the history between Aerys and Joanna, so I had to allude to it here. Hope you enjoyed. Please review!


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